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  1. Hi Jenny! I didn’t get why Shrek was blue at first, but then it hit me. Rama is typically see as blue. Clever and funny. The overlap between the two stories was amusing. I really liked how you were able to combine The Ramayana and Shrek. The Ramayana reads a lot like a classic fairytale, so I can absolutely see how you were able to find similarities between them. A minor thing, but I noticed a word or two that was misspelled. I like how you changed how Rama and Sita met. The action made their meeting more interesting and exciting. Great work on this one! I have a question regarding your storybook project though. If it isn’t continuing on with a Shrek theme, what is the overall theme of your storybook? I think that you would benefit with the addition of an introduction to explain your theme! Your stories are all well done, but it might help explain how they are all linked. (Unless this is not a storybook and is a portfolio instead. Then disregard that!)

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  2. Hi Jenny! I think this is the first portfolio (rather than Storybook) that I have come across! I think it's great you've chosen to give each page it's own unique banner image. Since you've gone the anthology route, this is an opportunity to highlight their uniqueness in a visual way for your website's visitors! It's a shame that the images are so blurry, I wonder if you can remedy this by adjusting their sizes? I am almost certain I have read and responded to your first featured story about Shrek, but I will reiterate that this was such a creative collaboration of mythologies! Since the swamp in which he resides contains a number of fairy-tale creatures, combining such a world inspired by western mythology with the Ramayana is a fun mashup! Though your second story is a stark change of tone, I think you've executed this story with its serious lesson quite well! Great balance of dialogue to description. I'm looking forward to see what sort of story you choose to include next!

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  3. Hey Jenny, I really liked the start of your storybook and enjoyed reading the stories you have added to it so far; however, I wished you had an introduction to give your audience some background on what your storybook is going to be about. If you could write up an introduction, I think it would be a nice addition to your storybook! I absolutely loved your first story due to you correlating the stories from this class to the storyline in Shrek. I liked how you portrayed Shrek as Rama, and uploaded a picture of blue Shrek to resemble Rama as well! In your second story, I noticed some typos that you can look over by reading your story out loud. For an example, I was confused when you said "... She said the Sun God she did not wish for a child, but it was already done." However, I liked the overall story and the picture you used for this story!

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  4. Hi Jenny!
    Focusing on design elements, the overall design looks clean and is easy to navigate. On the home page, it might be beneficial to include a link to the banner image source. For the Shrek the Great story, the banner image of Shrek is very blurry. Sometimes using a larger version of the image can fix this problem! I think it might make more sense to have the image of Rama and Sita at the bottom of the page after your story. It also might be clearer to specify that “the movie Shrek” link belongs to the banner image. You might also hyperlink the PDE Ramayana for the convenience of the reader. When it comes to dialogue, everyone is different, but I personally find it easier to follow in a story when dialogue is written on its own line, especially when the story is mostly narration with a little bit of dialogue. The banner image for you Karna page is also a bit blurry when I have your site in full page. I think this page is also missing proper image citations for the banner image and the image used at the bottom. If you can get clearer versions of your banner images, there is a setting on Google sites where you can pick your Header type for your image, and I think a cover or large banner might look nice with the images you picked!

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  5. Hi Jenny! This is super cool! I love how you took the Ramayana and Shrek and COMBINED THEM LOL. Also, your layout of the stories are great and I love how you changed how Rama and Sita met. One thing that I think might be helpful is if you could add a little bit more pictures to your story telling! Since it's such a fun topic and you're using shrek, perhaps you could add some pictures of like Rama in the mud or something. Just something that make a Shrek allusion would be neat. There were also a few words that you could fix or put into grammarly and they may detect it! Anyways, this was an awesome story and I'm looking forward to reading more!

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  6. Jenny,

    The look of your page is very organized and easy to navigate. I like the homepage banner photo that you used. That caption also made me laugh a little so definitely keep that. I like the idea of having Shrek as the banner image but it looks very zoomed in and blurry. I think you should find another picture of Shrek to use. Having the picture of Rama and Sita adds to your story and maybe you could even make the picture larger. The Birth of Karna story I would say the same thing about the banner image. It appears to be a little blurry and maybe just finding another file to use would help it be clear. The picture that you used at the bottom is slightly blurry as well and maybe just making it a tiny bit smaller could help. That seems like a lot of comments but mostly all very small things. Overall your project is looking great!

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  7. Hi Jenny! I really enjoyed reading through your project! Since this week -- week 12 -- is being focused on author's notes, I paid especially close attention to them while I was reading through the stories in your portfolio. In your first story, "Shrek the Great," I really liked that the author's note drew parallels between the source material in the Ramayana and the source material for Shrek. This could have been a hard connection to make for some readers, so the explanation in the author's note works really well. In your second story, "The Birth of Karna," you transition from the Ramayana to the Mahabharata as your source text. The author's note here allows the reader some context for why you chose to tell this story, which is really good! Also, the author's note shows the importance of giving Kunti more of a voice, and it shows why that is important in the larger context of the Mahabharata.

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  8. Hello,
    I have to start off by saying how much I loved both of your stories! I saw Shrek and became so hopeful as to what I would read! I like how you turned Rama into Shrek. I feel as though this fits really well because it goes along with his time of exile in the forest. I love how he even brought Sita back to live with him in the swamp. Instead of making it to where Rama had to win her over you made it to where he had to rescue Sita. I thought that fit a lot better than a challenge. The second story was just as interesting than the first. I remember watching the videos of the story of Kunti and her son. I thought it was interesting then, but your story really brought it to life. I felt more connected to the characters. I cant wait to read more from you!

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  9. Hi Jenny! I love the name of your portfolio! I also really like the simplicity of the pages. The whole thing has a nice, clean, streamlined look to it. Your first story "Shrek the Great" is a hoot. Never in a million years would I have thought to combine the Ramayana and Shrek! Very clever and creative. In "The Birth of Karna" I really like how you add additional layers to Kunti, providing insight into her thinking and point of view. The Birth of Karna in the Mahabharata was one of the few parts of that epic that I was able to really follow. In fact, I used it as inspiration for one of my stories. Great minds, huh?

    Since we are focusing on paragraphs this week, I should mention that use them quite well. Both stores flow nicely and the paragraphs all break at just the right place. Well done!

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  10. Hi Jenny! I love the Home page! The image choice was wonderful. I appreciate that it is a simple, clean layout that is easy to navigate. I really enjoyed your first story and how you turned it into a story about Shrek. That thought never crossed my mind. You made it fit so well. Paragraphs look great to me, they make sense and gives a very nice flow to the story. The second story I was a bit sad it stuck to the original, but i've gone back and forth myself. Once again, I didn't see any issues with paragraphs. They were clean breaks and had a nice flow. Good job!

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  11. Hey Jenny! I came back to your portfolio again to check up on how you are doing. Since my last comment, I noticed you fixed your stories and took my advice, so thank you for that! I don't think you have added a new story since I have been back but that is okay! I enjoyed reading through your first two stories and I hope you add more soon, so that I could come back and read through them. I have one suggestion for you though. I think you should add a banner photo to the top of the second story! I think it would look really nice since in your first story, you had a picture in the banner. Other than that, our focus for this week is on the paragraphs of your project. I believe you did a good job on separating out your paragraphs in your stories and making sure each paragraph break flows into the next one.

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  12. Hey Jenny! This is my first time visiting your project so I read all of the stories! I thought it was interesting that your stories are so different from each other - I haven't read too many portfolios yet. I think it was super creative that you were able to draw parallels between Shrek and Rama. While Rama was regarded as beautiful and Shrek was regarded as ugly, they both had a lot of similarities as well and I'm impressed that you were able to find the tangents and develop a story. I enjoyed the Karna story as well. I also wondered what Kunti must have felt like having to send her baby down the river and the pressure that led to it.

    This week, Professor Gibbs requested that we focus on paragraphs. I thought you did a really good job of breaking everything up into bite-sized chunks for the readers. However, I think one thing that might help your stories read smoother would be to make sure a thought is fully complete before switching paragraphs. It's good to break things up, but it can also hurt the story if it's too broken up. I think it may also help your stories if you focused on transitions between paragraphs. But overall, great work!

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  13. Hey Jenny!
    This is my first time reading your page. I am from the Mythology and Folklore section. One thing i noticed after reading a few of your stories is how unique they all are. You basically start fresh completely from story to story. Your ability to see similarities between different narratives is also impressive. Your overall writing experience is enjoyable and I look forward to reading many more of your stories. As far as the focus for this week, we were asked to look at using paragraphs this week. Everything was broken up but you should be careful that you do not use too many paragraphs. If you break up too often it is almost as if nothing is broken up! Good luck on he rest of the semester!

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  14. Hi Jenny! This will be the first time I am visiting your page this semester and I am very impressed. When I first got to your portfolio, I really liked the overall layout. I think the text and the images you used for each page looked very neat and well put together. I especially loved reading your first story about Shrek. It was something I would never thought of, and was very creatively written! Each of your stories were very well written and I thought although they did not relate to each other, each flowed in their own ways. This week we were focusing on paragraph layout and I think you did really well for each of your pages. Each scene change was separated which made the story easier to read and it flowed better. Your author's note was also appropriately spaced out to let the reader know that it was not a part of the story. Overall, I really enjoyed your portfolio! Great job.

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  15. Hi Jenny!
    This is my first time to your site. Not sure how that happened? I also like how you give a brief explanation on what to expect from the overall site.
    On your home page, I like the image that you chose to go with your title, “Random Storytime.” It is clean and looks professional.
    On your story, Shrek the Great, the image you chose for the banner is blurry and cuts off most of his face. I got the idea that it was a blue Shrek, but I’d like to see the whole picture.
    As far at the meat and potatoes of the story, I really liked how you blended the stories of Rama and Shrek together. I think you did a great job with this. I think the way you broke up your paragraphs makes it easy to read and it flows really well together. Overall, I think you did a great job with this story!

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